What is a man if he lacks passion for anything? Yes, passion often leads to a world of hurt, but pain is a part of life and it makes us human. Somewhere along the line you lost the realization that, while things may often hurt like heck, it's a whole lot better than being heartless.
I'm so sorry. Somewhere down the road I was too selfish. I thought I did what was best for the both of us. I never meant for it to turn out like this...
I feel like I betrayed you. I allowed my own sick selfishness to get in the way of a great change that was taking place in you, and somehow undo everything...
My words from the past are hitting me in the face right now. I've always stood so strongly on the belief that Love is not a mere feeling, but an action that can prove its presence over and over and has a solid foundation on the Word. Yet this whole time I've been basing everything on my feelings... I can say with complete honesty that I have never been so sure of anything in my life as I am sure that I love you so, so much... I have always loved you. Maybe it's not the kind of love that leads into a relationship or anything like that, but loving someone doesn't always mean you have to be in love with them. And trust me when I say that I have never loved anyone quite like I love you. I just can't believe it took me until this to realize it.
What I can't believe, even beyond that, is how easy it was for you to let go... Haven't you learned by now that not every word spoken from my mouth is truth?
Was loving me really putting you through so much hell that you couldn't even stand feeling anymore?
I remember I once told you not to ever let me do anything stupid regarding you... And you promised me you wouldn't. That you'd always be there for me, never give up on me. And you understood that my emotions can be, at times, very unstable. That I could say something with meaning and by the end of the day wish I had said something completely different with a completely different meaning. At the time you thought it meant to make sure that I didn't want to be in relationship with you when I said I didn't. But can't you realize that this was the stupidest thing I could have ever done regarding you?
I am so sorry. I've begged on my knees for God to show me a way to fix this... I'm not seeing any way out. This may be unfixable. I'm left to face my mistake.
History never fails to repeat itself.
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